Distancing

Distanced my thoughts,deeds,..........................When I turn back ,I see a huge gap without connecting certain dots.Its true,I dont bother to connect those lines.Let dots hang as it is,those ridiculous mistakes which makes me to slap myself while seeing the mirror till now.If I write story  after 3 decades,I can find lot of holes without fullstops.
Wanna convey my apology one day or other,and its today, for conciously ruining all those beautiful relationships around me.Some ageold friends,half known faces and round faces with whom I was not ready to exchange my  contact number version 2.0.Can be Iam searching a burrow,with less number of rats in and around me.The shameful thing is I dont regret too ,as Iam in the venture  to bury my identity.

lighter

 There are people whose talk can make me listen to shankar Mahadevan's music and to scribble some poems.Making me feel light as feather.This time its Deva

Taxi Driver

Taxi Driver - After a long long time ,blocked all my routine work and went back to the usual state of killing time by watching movies .This time its "Taxi Driver" .More than the movie, I preferred  "Walking contradiction" album which the hero speaks about .Those lyrics are quietly brilliant .I was not having patience to finish with the movie as its nothing more than the usual,loneliness follows the hero,which he could have taken as a good sign .Lotmore I can do If Iam all alone.Then he searches for an angel,who became a known devil from an unknown angel,which is usual in anyone's way.He cribs his way which he could have eliminated by shifting to a convincing place though its a myth.All of a sudden he becomes a rebel trying to save a single prostitute who loves her job to the core .At one point I started to think what this guy is trying to do with his loneliness.In nutshell to say ,I felt good with the dialogues ,well-received from my end.He was literally sitting in a drainage and preaching those ringworms to find shelter in Himalayas. The hero is "Robert De Nero" who has nothing else to do with his loneliness  except cleaning  the flithy city.My suggestion is he could have become a poet if he could have made a ride to Thames River with his same Taxi .

Darkest-Darker-Dark

 This day 13 Aug’13 .The darkest day before  three years.Time rolled on,cats passed by,marriages happened,yes things moved on for the world.The lady who taught me “belief shouldn’t be questioned” too moved on.Those  fish shaped eyes and shiny long hair in her dusky skin made everyone to say “She is one such woman” when I introduced my mom “Shanthi Balakrishnan”. voooooooow!!!!! Such a pretty young lady in her early forty’s,who looked the same without wringles from my birth till her death. Still I remember the cat which passed by and the purple saree which I chose for her as she is one such lady who takes pride in all my choices.I wished that day to be a nightmare,it wasn’t and that rain was the witness. All the emotions I showered over you is resting somewhere peacefully.Illa amma,somewhere something is right,without my awareness Iam getting detached from the system.Each day loving to spend sometime at workplace  with cup of chai in solitude ,becoming a silent spectator.Conciously Iam ruining many beautiful relations around me .Somewhere ,few folks demand my presence ,but the point is Iam always absent from what they speak as present.After scribbling all my random thoughts ,going to bed with the belief that you stand as a whole within the statue waiting for my prayers.As a traveler to say,I loved those moments inch by inch.

APPLE-The dreamjob

"Think Different,Be out of the box,be crazy,be a story teller " all goes for the person with sharp nose wearing potter's specs.Its Steve Jobs. I came across biography of Steve Jobs by Isaac .Just skimming those Couple of pages captivated my attention towards that quietly brilliant writing.My wishlist is now updated with "APPLE". Wanna connect my thoughts with Apple too.

Think in silence

More than a beautiful talk,I love solitude walk triggering my thoughts.Yes ! I love to think, more than to talk.I love to think about thoughts ,I can find a beautiful transition in each  phase though I dont think as much now. .At times landed up nowhere and there are times ,people asking me what am I doing alone? even my first teacher -mom.But my answer is a smile which haven't changed till now.I love spending time in thinking something or other,I can be called as  day dreamer .Today Iam saluting my thoughts which dissolves my wrath,which killes me in my sleep,which adds fire to tired bones,which adds lot of question marks to assertive statements and which brought hope for my sibling. 

Beer vs more

  Addicted to this song.What a beat man and husky voice of dhanush made this song a retreat.Its really a stress burster .Full volume in my speakers makes me to feel colours in my dream :)

My writer's face

Born again.. Some alphabets make me to born again and again,thousand times,of course this time too  same old blog which I visit now and then.Her letter's spoke many beautiful things into my ears.Those were the lines reincarnated me from my moodswing,afterall being a human.Those beautiful lines still linger in my mind,adding fuel to my tired bones.I say this "x writer" is simply beautiful who can attract a layman even from far far distance.Yes,beauty lies in the eyes of beholder ,Harini Padmanabhan u doesn't need a face,but I need eyes to read those alphabets.
                              Some faces dont need faces
                              Beauty is already ingested in your gene.
                              I have heard something about beauty
                              Now I feel it in every nerve.
                              The face which my mind gives for my writer
                              Is her jumbled letters in "dreamsgoon"

One more day to read and write which my eyes and ears really want to..  

Illusion

Yes ! Iam having such a deep moodswing for past couple of days.Too many thoughts gushes from my mind and the worst thing is its too obvious in my face.Office work helps me to chuck these line of thoughts aside for 8 hours.Trying to sort out which particular thought makes me look ugly.Sometimes I wish to be a dull headed soul,who has no patience to think about what self does.
some thoughts speaks about children who lost their life in the hands of animalistic society .Should I drop a penny for their paining hunger else philosophy.Should I turn my wrath towards this world -experimental lab or .....  My past might have some traces which adds fuel to the fire,but it adds too much fuel to the fire.It brings out a personality whom my outerbeing doesnt want to see.
Someother thought putforth a question why should I hold a family? It makes me to think should I really want to belong to this society.Somewhere the belongingness ruined,might have went in the air.Thoughts are too dangerous I feel.
 Another thought speaks about my she,he,It.I assume all three exist somewhere in some corner  though I know very well I cant even say hello to them,if at all It can be in dream.
Things are so illusionary ,listening to the same old song all the way in my walk.Iam lost somewhere in the corner of my mind.The solitude feel says give all your coverings to the same society and walk out as the newborn .