child-like love

Kids are like both sides of a coin and their emotions perfectly reflects on their twinkling eyes.Its a humid feel when we spend a casual day with unadulterated affection.I had besttime with my friend's kid who each time reminds me of excitement towards Everything she gets in her hand.I love to gift her manytimes with crayons as she is an artist adding colors to black and white cartoons.The way she walks over me,jumps into my hands as soon as I step in makes me to be with the moment.I secretly admire her gushing happiness when she rubs redcrayon over mickymouse.Now Iam in the mode of playing video games as her love and hobbies are infectious.

parking by the parks

Parks are really a place where I collect all my thoughts of past,lovable past.I remember those days when I hang with my mom at parks along with acquaintances.Still I love to dust those memoirs whenever I visit park with myself.Grand old trees which holds all its emotions in deep dark woods,pranky children with fights,parents discussing children psychology,old parents resting in corners,young couples with what next plans makes me just to observe the ambiance without a plan for me.Sometimes living in beautiful past under the shades of grand old parks is something scintillating.
Big sky, gigantic trees with touching wind makes me to feel things decay and perishes by time,what remains back is gentle invisible breeze

Impressions

I have painful laughter with kids and pets.I made a practice to spend at least few hours with them everyday.Whenever I read quotes which I enjoy, I notice superficial quotes on love,affection et al.Probably all speaks one and the same socalled sadness and sorrow.As people grow up they write quotes,but kids and pets expresses it without holding it.I find this kid who usually says "love you" and "take care" to me,fellowmates and of course to our street dogs.I learnt many from her ,how to express beautiful emotions without a wrapper around it.And these are called my lovable moments.

Hands together

Few relationship gets extended,can be from school to college,from college to workstations and from workstations to personnel life.The term colleague gets evaporated and the residue is beautiful friendship which stands still.Had a homely Saturday,which I was missing for long time though I pretend to be not.We started by calling our names at office,then to peers and happily continued with dude.Few sentiments are always censored in my blog.But no worries when I become at times an emotional fool.Overwhelmed by few  special treatment which I receive in this piece of IT island.Going emotional again.We debated,we mocked ,sat in opposite corners for the same reason.Though the captains are for two different track,we are motivated for the craft we learnt,more than those silver cups.Still I remember those rolling tears kept  hidden in one person's eyes and gushing in other as departure letters are hard to pen down.I had good number of takeaways to be zipped from brunch calls to high tea,from books to gyans,from principles to rules,from wishes to pat on shoulders and of course from presentations to tricky audits.
This is the day where I spoke for longer hours  with the girl who owns above mentioned descriptions.Went back to those days how I was before three years at my home.Thanks Vindhya ,for giving me salt and water with care.

Darkest-Darker-Dark

 This day 13 Aug’13 .The darkest day before  three years.Time rolled on,cats passed by,marriages happened,yes things moved on for the world.The lady who taught me “belief shouldn’t be questioned” too moved on.Those  fish shaped eyes and shiny long hair in her dusky skin made everyone to say “She is one such woman” when I introduced my mom “Shanthi Balakrishnan”. voooooooow!!!!! Such a pretty young lady in her early forty’s,who looked the same without wringles from my birth till her death. Still I remember the cat which passed by and the purple saree which I chose for her as she is one such lady who takes pride in all my choices.I wished that day to be a nightmare,it wasn’t and that rain was the witness. All the emotions I showered over you is resting somewhere peacefully.Illa amma,somewhere something is right,without my awareness Iam getting detached from the system.Each day loving to spend sometime at workplace  with cup of chai in solitude ,becoming a silent spectator.Conciously Iam ruining many beautiful relations around me .Somewhere ,few folks demand my presence ,but the point is Iam always absent from what they speak as present.After scribbling all my random thoughts ,going to bed with the belief that you stand as a whole within the statue waiting for my prayers.As a traveler to say,I loved those moments inch by inch.

Smiling Tears

A transcendental feel after a span of time in that beautiful children's park near the place where I dwell.No evening could be more splendid in such a place where I can drop all my thousand + 1 thoughts aside and bring one focus over the kids with caring Indian Parents in a lush green park.Each time I spend my saturday evening in this beautiful place with some like minded person and today its with the person who loves to listen all the rubbish thoughts which I pour.Its with one such close friend "Subha" .Spare me if I have used this name frequently,cant help it.
 Today it was bit strange after  a long narration.I saw those salted drops in her eyes,when she saw grey hairs amidst my half black hair.She indirectly equated with my stress level,as she knows my pulse.I can cover anything and everything with a plastic smile infront of anyone but never before her.I felt her feel which she didn't mention in her words,those salted water spoke as a whole.Sometimes languages too become a weak tool to reciprocate hard core feelings. Iam "Blessed" ,just Blessed.
Your care is so dangerous.Those salted drops carries a lot ,lot of meaning in it.I can speak about my less dependent life but layers of insecurity is your botheration.I can speak about my carefree life,abandonment is your botheration.
P.S: Nothing to bother Subha,I have a dream for the day to dwell with.

Modern Kabir-Bhattacharya

This guy created a feel somewhere in this being.His lyrics made me to search for his face,as they say "face is index of mind".I have a crush ,yes I have.Its over his lyrics.As Iam a  lover of  lyrics,surfed for the translation for his urdu lyrics.vowww!We need one more poet to describe his poetic style.Its none other than Amitabh Bhattacharya.Personally an affinity towards Bhattacharya..

I would have listened more than 40 times his "Re Kabira" and "Monta Re" .His lyrics in urdu made me to think ,rethink about the plain-beauty living in Urdu.Urdu is so poetic apart from my mother tongue "Tamil".This lyricist made me to think and appreciate the beauty dwelling in many other languages.While penning this post,listening to "Montaa ree" which still triggers me to feel the unsaid verbs of a being.The metaphors what he uses are out of the box.If at all a petname if I give its "KABIR" .Afterall language is dress of thoughts,but some languages overshade the thoughts by their beauty.

Got set free themselves

How to see a loss.As its from the eyes of parent or kids ? should I feel pain or pleasure putting me in both shoes.Finally my five sense friends bid bybye and flew away even without dropping a single word.I felt the pinching pain though I know it can be surpassed.Might be the equivalent pain when my mom and dad set me out.
 Some queer coincidence just a day back ,I updated my cover photo in my facebook profile depicting doves flight,which happened in reality too.I love birds flight alltime which happened pulling out my attachment. Might be my inner thoughts got activated.Reminded of my care and daycare for them.Laila and Jack sparrow set themselves free as they know to mind their flight but made me to carry a heavyheart.

Matured like flies

Sometime I had a wish to rear five sense friends.What I feel has happened out of free will.Thanks chirax for your gift which makes me to spend some more time for my kids "Laila" & "Jack Sparrow".The story goes like this Majnu expired in realtime stories,hence I made Laila to get married with  "Jack sparrow".I felt so bad as Iam caging it,for a five sense friend  cage and the world never makes great difference.It makes me bit more responsible  when I clean their shit,feeding them with water and grains..They are grown bigger now.

When I place bowl of water,Laila will drink with its small beak followed by its flap in the water tub.then comes my jack doing it in the same fashion.Now their flight is so magical thinking their cage as their home.whenever I open the cage door,they dont have the feel to fly out.My five sense friends too will evolve,will make them to fly one day after other as no  creature is supposed to be affected by affection like milk and water.The third power who created me ,will kill me too oneday.When I step out of my temp home ,I hope milky white Laila    and ashy feathered jack will be all set with their filight to live in this bigger world.The dialogue from Shawshank redemption "Some birds are never meant to be caged" hence Iam and my Laila & Jack.

My Valentine

         Love is in air,  love here there,everywhere .I can feel the romantic thoughts in air exclusively in February.I always had craze towards the term "valentine" from school days might be due to the hype created for it in my small town.Walking with generations,accepted valentine celebration with open heart,one step more, gifting roses and chocos without gender bias.
          Each time my valentine too gets changed as like fashion for ages.classic movies in lappy to christian Bale,Kamal Hassan to Bharathiyaar.English non details to classics,recently native authors legendry works ,salwars to sarees and many many other stuff  including living beings(not for public discussion)
          Before entering into my philosophicals,my crazy thought "If Bharathiyaar would have lived here,I would have proposed him confidently with a poem".Atleast my ringtone lives now to overshadow my wish.
        Using love is bit abrupt as it takes different meaning at different corners ,tricked by the term "love".If at all I want to make the term genuine it can come through blood, only blood .When I tag a third person with "love" it comes out of atleast one reason,as there are no reason less creatures here.I love him because of this "....".If its my mom,dad,sibling, love comes out of nothing.No question to arise,hence I believe whatever comes out of reason,should I tag as love?.If its so ,without a reason something oozes will it be a lower subset of love?.
       Till the time I find a solid reason ,I don't know, will love  take birth in me ! Having n number of complicated stuff in my head ,might take n generations to find solution,by the time Iam sure, love over answers will be faded away.Let me be in the clan of emperors ,never in the clan of beggars.Its really crazy to plead a person for love.Not to make it further complicated,hence marking a full stop.
                           Love nothing but a force
                           Holding the soccer with his ball
                           Holding Shakespeare with his words
                           Holding stevejobs,Newton to apple
                           Holding all together without a reason
                           And that love is extinct now
                           If it exist too,its a paranoid
                           

Paranoid

I do have a fear of strange thing.Something can sound to be as mean like a bullshit without adding any sense.Coming directly to the point which I wanna hit, love is paranoid ,unreal for me.Whenever situation makes me  to feel the strange thing in  all my cells  and wait for the moment to stand still,it rebounces as a fowl.Let love really become unreal,as its harder and harder to live with the saturated fear ,when I would loose it and in what means.It might sound like a phobia but my quite goodluck never been late in prooving  this.It always alerted me “No dear,these are facts which is not meant to be negotiated"

             From the time when I lost my mom the first  love,those two love which I thought as unshakeable dig its way to cemetery and let my path uncertain.Love is no more a known word but a layman word.A sharp breakingpoint  where liquid water turns as frozen ice,a reality has turned to be a paranoid”matter of unreality”.

              Even my mind knows there are lovable hearts  who really feel bad for my indifference,I take the dias for my apology,might be the fear of loss,which I have seen terribly before.So its not a big deal to live with the name "Being so cold is  to be inhuman".